Abortion can have major side effects, physical and emotional, for women who have gone through the termination of their pregnancy. This is the true story of a young woman in Casper who had an abortion and the after-effects she experienced.
It was the Christmas morning that changed my life. I was just 15 years old and still in high school with dreams of attending college. I awoke sick and started throwing up. My family and I thought I must have a bad stomach virus. Later that day, “oh crud!” I realized I might be pregnant. I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility and was horrified when a pregnancy test confirmed my fear. Several thoughts raced through my head: “I’m only 15; I can’t have a baby right now. I’m planning on going to college, I’ve helped my mom raise two boys, I’m not ready to be a mom yet.” Being pregnant felt like the end of the world to me.
Another month passed before I built up enough courage to tell my mom. I remember the day well. She was peeling potatoes in the kitchen. I just sat down and started crying, blurting out, “I’m pregnant!” Mom called me every name in the book and told me I was on my own if I kept the baby – she wasn’t going to raise another child. So the decision was made: I was going to abort my baby. The alternative was to be homeless and pregnant at 15.
We had to go to the clinic two different days, the first to get ready for the procedure and the second for the abortion itself. The whole thing was very scary. The staff at the clinic asked me if this was what I wanted. How could I say ‘no’? There was no way I was going to back out now for fear of my angry mother waiting in the lobby. This was not an “easy way out” – I was about 10 weeks along and the procedure done is termed a suction procedure. The sound of the machine was very loud, and I was overcome with sadness. I started crying and couldn’t stop. Although my abortion took only about an hour, it seemed like an eternity.
I buried the grief, hurt, and anger. Time passed and I told myself I was okay; I even told others I was okay. I got to the point I didn’t really think about my abortion unless it was brought up in conversation. In reality, my heart was broken. Stuffing the hurt and pain led me down a dangerous path. Issues such as addiction and severe depression took root. It wasn’t until I ran into legal trouble because of my addictions that I began to take a hard look at my life. I realized I needed to make some positive changes and clean up the wreckage of my past. I heard about an abortion recovery class offered by True Care, and signed up. This was the best decision I have ever made. I experienced healing, forgiveness and closure regarding my abortion. I was able to grieve and acknowledge my child, and best of all, I was able to receive God’s forgiveness. God can take anything that was meant for evil and turn it into something good. I have never met a woman who was proud of or happy about her abortion. It left a cancerous darkness that ate away at my soul until I allowed God’s light in to heal and restore me.
Some people say post-abortion syndrome is a myth. I am here to tell you it was real for me, and it’s real for others. Post-Abortion Syndrome refers to the stress, guilt, anger and other negative emotions that happen after an abortion. Sometimes those emotions occur years, even decades, later. Stuffing, ignoring and burying previous painful events like abortion is not therapeutic or healing. Bringing these to God and allowing His mercy and grace to shine produces true freedom and healing. If you or someone you know has experienced abortion, I encourage you to consider a post abortion recovery class; I am a witness to the healing power of such a decision. Not only am I free from the guilt, depression, and addiction that once plagued my life, but I now use my own life story to help others. With God’s help I am able to turn those dark experiences of abortion, addiction, and depression into good – the good of helping other women who have traveled a similar path.
For information on post-abortion recovery classes in the Casper area, call True Care at 472-2810. You can also visit the following websites for information on the potential effects of abortion as well as stories of other women’s experiences after abortion: